Thursday, February 17, 2011

The Pizza Paradigm

      It's hard enough being a parent to any child but my kids are highly precocious, and ridiculously smart (when they want to be). Put these together and what you get are giant smart asses, just in case you haven't figured it out.
      Both of them are insanely picky eaters. My oldest hated pizza until he was twelve or so and gets nauseous at even seeing mayonnaise and my youngest 's favorite food is macaroni and cheese, but hates, HATES cheese ?!? He loves mayonnaise and puts that and ranch dressing on everything.
      Last week my little one (let's call him Satan shall we) Satan decided to go off his macaroni and cheese kick and become obsessed with pizza. Please, sit back and enjoy my pain.

   Monday
My Son: "Dad, can we have pizza for dinner?"
Dad: "No, we just had pizza yesterday."
My Son: "So"
Dad: "So, I'm not eating the same thing two days in a row"
My Son: "Then order it without peperoni this time."

      Tuesday
My Son: "Dad, can we have pizza for dinner?"
Dad: "No, We just had it two days ago"
My Son: "But thats not two days in a row."

      Wednesday
My Son: "Dad, can we have pizza for dinner?"
Dad: "No"
My Son: "Why"
Dad: "Because I said so."
My Son: "But..."
Dad: "No buts, and no pizza."
My Son: "I didn't want buts just pizza."

      Thursday
My Son: "Dad, can we have pizza for dinner?"
Dad: "No, I have something thawed and I want to make it before it goes bad."
My Son: "What is it?"
Dad: " Fish"
My Son: "That's already bad."

      Friday
My Son: "Dad, can we have pizza for dinner?"
Dad: "No, I'm trying something new tonight."
My Son: "Try saying yes to pizza, that'd be new."

      Saturday
My Son: "Dad, can we have pizza for dinner?"
Dad: "NO."
My Son: "What are we having then?"
Dad: "Crap on a cracker."
My Son: "I thought you said we couldn't have the same thing two days in a row."

      Sunday
My Son: "I'm hungry, whats for dinner?."
Dad: "Pizza"
MY Son: "Really?"
Dad: "Yes, It's getting too late to cook"
My Son: "Then can we go to Burger King?"
Dad: (RRRRIIIIPPPP!-sound of dad pulling more hair out.)

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