April Fools Day...Yeah I got no good title this week.

      This will probably be a bunch of random bits and pieces, I'm a little pressed for time. With tomorrow being April Fool's Day I have some ....things to prepare for my family, after all I wouldn't want them to get too complacent.
      I actually started early since while at work today I sent a little girl screaming onto her school bus. I explained to her that if she kept playing with the broken cover to a city electrical access she would let the C.H.U.D.S out. I did have to explain the acronym to her; Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers, which sent her screaming past a confused bus driver.

      I was talking to my son and a friend of his, let's call him Bobby to avoid any angry parent syndrome, and me and my son were discussing the movie "SuckerPunch". I Mentioned to my son that it was like "Alice in Wonderland" with guns when the conversation turned a little thanks to Bobby.
      Bobby: Alice In Wonderland? Oh yeah I saw that, it was that movie with Johnny Depp and stuff.
       Dad: Well yeah but it was a book by Lewis Carroll first.
      Bobby: Oh. Was it a picture book or one of those books with just words?
      I took a deep breath...I had to.
        Dad: No, it wasn't a picture book.
       Bobby: Well, if there's no pictures then how do you know what stuff looks like?
      TWO, deep breaths....and a clenched jaw.
        Dad: You have to use your imagination.
       Bobby: Oh. My mom says I'm not allowed to use my imagination 'cuz it breaks stuff.
     My Son: Yeah mine gets me sent to my room a lot, my dad says my imagination is loud.

      Ok, here goes my obligatory rant. Parents I am pleading with you, teach your children source material. Disney did not invent Alice, Tarzan, The Musketeers, Bambi or even one single dalmatian they took these ideas from great writers and turned them into cartoons for the kiddies. It frightens me how many kids I've dealt with who ask me "If Beauty and the Beast was a book how did you hear the songs?" or some version of that question. Oh and by the way Bambi, Fox and the Hound, Mulan etc etc etc not only were stories before they were claimed by Disney but NONE of then required a part 2...I'm just putting that out there. For that matter what Disney claimed was their "First original animated story" The Lion King was actually a pretty blatant rip off of Shakespeare's Hamlet. The first screenplay  of The Lion King was written by Thomas Disch who despite having wrote the original screenplay for one of the most successful animated movies in history received no credits or royalties.
       I plead with you to teach source material not just because Disney confuses people but because it happens everywhere. We are all familiar with the way Stephen King's brilliant work is destroyed by Hollywood but it's more than just him. Total Recall, Minority Report, Paycheck, Next, and The Adjustment Bureau (among several others) weren't just bad movies with incompetent actors. They were amazing stories all written by the brilliant Philip K. Dick, and it seems the future holds even more tragedy for him as Hollywood plans to rape his work well into the future.
     Now most people are aware that most movies are novels, short stories or comic books first. I just think parents should introduce their children to the great writers who created them not just the bad actors and directors who ruin them. There are very few movies that do credit the books To Kill a Mockingbird and Lord of the Rings come to mind, most only serve to destroy a brilliant vision and even if they don't, I think the originator deserves his due. OH and by the way Joseph Sheridan LeFanu and Bram Stoker were the originators of vampires with the Stories Carmilla(1872) and Dracula(1897) respectively not Stephanie "we sparkle" Myers...seriously check it out...tell the kids.
End of rant...FOR NOW...bwahahaha

PARENTAL NOTIFICATIONS

 When asking your child if they need in the bathroom because you are about to take a shower "NO" actually means: As soon as you are relaxed and soapy I will pound on the door in a panic needing to go.

Covering your child head to toe in rain gear means that they will jump in and walk through every puddle no matter how big or small on the way to school.

When you ask your child "Do you understand?"  "Yes" actually means the next time it happens it's because they forgot.

CONVERSATIONS

      Dad: Turn the light off anf go to sleep.
My Son: It is off.
      Dad: NO, it's not.
My Son: How do you know?
      Dad: Because I can see it.
My Son: Then stop looking at it and you won't know.

My Son: Can I go to Bobby's house?
      Dad: No, stay in the yard we have to leave very soon.
Ten minutes later he walks in the house with Bobby.
      Dad: I thought I told you that you couldn't go over there.
My Son: I went over to his house to tell him I couldn't come over.

And just because so many people enjoyed my poetry like "Two Sock, One Sock" here's a couple more of the real short ones that I used to make me children think I'm a goof. They're also the one's too short to publish elsewhere so you get them instead.

Aadrvark
My friend has an Aardvark
Now I want one too.
It's a little strange,
Since I'm not sure what they do.

Imaginary Friend
I have an imaginary friend
He's a pet dog.
At least thats what I told my mom,
After I ate my pet frog.

Ok see what happens when you ask for this stuff people :)
So I want to thank everybody who reads my insanity because apparently this month I'm going to hit right around 2,000 readers for March which is a new high so thank you all greatly and from the bottom of my heart, and please continue to pass around this sight to your friends, it means a great deal to me and  it will keeps me working on this sight.
So for now everyone have a great weekend, and April Fools Day, and hopefully I'll see you all next week. Thank you.

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